this girl loves adventure

For well over a decade, switching off simply wasn’t part of my vocabulary.

Even now, I still catch myself doing it.

Every weekday, I commute into London for work. Most evenings, I’ll open my laptop on the train home. Not because I have to and not because I’m behind. More often than not, my to-do list is empty. Instead, I’ll find something else to work on. I’ll tweak an idea, plan ahead, organise a project or think of another way to improve something. Nobody has asked me to do it. It’s just where my mind naturally goes.

For a long time, I thought that was just part of who I was. The more I’ve reflected on it, the more I’ve realised it probably started years ago.

When you work on a cruise ship, there isn’t much separation between work and life. You live where you work, your colleagues become your neighbours and your friends and there is always something happening. If somebody needs a hand, you help. If a problem appears, you solve it. Going above and beyond isn’t something you consciously decide to do, it’s simply how life works.

I don’t remember anyone ever telling me to keep pushing myself. I just got used to it. It became normal to say yes, to take on more and to think one step ahead. Those habits served me well throughout my career and they’re a big part of the reason I learnt so much during those years.

The thing nobody tells you is that those habits don’t stay onboard when you leave.

You take them home with you.

Changing careers doesn’t automatically change your mindset. You can leave the job behind, but the way you’ve trained yourself to think often comes too. Looking back, I don’t think I ever really learnt what a healthy work-life balance looked like because, for so many years, it simply wasn’t part of my world.

Even now, I sometimes feel guilty if I’m not doing something productive. I’ll catch myself thinking I should be replying to an email, planning my next project or getting ahead on tomorrow’s workload, even when everything that actually needs doing has already been done.

It’s a strange feeling because I genuinely enjoy my job. I enjoy being creative, solving problems and finding ways to make things better. But enjoying your work and feeling like you always need to be working aren’t the same thing.

I’m slowly learning that.

Some evenings, the laptop stays in my bag for the journey home. Some weekends, I leave my notebook closed and head out for a coffee instead. Other weeks, I slip straight back into old habits without even noticing.

It’s still a work in progress.

I don’t think working hard is a bad thing. In fact, it’s something I’m proud of. Working on cruise ships taught me resilience, adaptability and a work ethic that has opened so many doors. I wouldn’t change that for anything.

What I’m learning now is that rest has value too.

Not because you’ve earned it.

Not because you’ve finished everything on your list.

Simply because you’re allowed to stop.

I don’t have this figured out yet and maybe I won’t for a while. But every time I choose to close my laptop, leave work at the office or enjoy a slow Sunday morning without feeling guilty, it feels like a small step in the right direction.

For years, I learnt how to keep going.

Now, I’m learning when it’s okay to stop.